How varying are my titles anyway...

So basically yesterday. Np shoot was quite fun, im in team A which is the more imba team and yea. 106/120 ftw!!! Yea.

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Damn stupid. I had a dream this morning and you know how you often forget dreams, yea i sorta rmbered this one coz...i dunno... it justmade a big impact on me. Bahhh. When i woke up, it was still in my mid awhile and i was pretty much 'wah sian that was a dream...' When you think of it again, yea there were some parts that were so stupid that it couldn't have been real and usually i can tell if its real or not but i guess those were kinda 'subplots' but the main was so real and so...special... that i just... i dunno. Haizz. Its night now and I cant rmb most of the details anymore but yes. Its there. I wished i could rmb it all...

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POD was interesting... tchr sent us all to library no lesson and Mr Sir was there so we were screwing around. Mainly it was Gideon Reno Beck Tim Wei Ren and me. Yea. Zzz. I was supposed to post this in sch but Zach wouldnt let me blog in class so yea. Really, now im not in the mood anymore. Its quite funny. But it wore off i guess...

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Oh Kenneth Ong one was funny as well. He dismissed the class with a 'ok its a rainy day and i want to go home. Get lost class.' and i dunno how the class did it with such quicky reflexes but a bunch of ppl immediately went 'Thank you sir, get lost sir'. Its funny and ppl were laughing.

But somehow it just seems unfunny now...

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I dunno. Everything is unfunny right now i guess. Throw me the funniest joke and i probably cant laugh. It seems like mountains and mountains are being thrown over at me but hey im smart and i read up and i know problems appear all the time but when you get blocked by a big one, all the smaller ones seems to trouble you as well so yea. They arent ganging up on me i guess it has always been there. Just that the big guy has come. Some time ago that is. And as long as you dont take down the big guy, the small ones will start to stack up behind and they can become biggies too...

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Its quite stupid you know, the way not too long ago i scoffed at the behavior of some ppl, telling them to relax and enjoy life and to put aside their worries and just be free. Its still true. I still stand firm by that. We should always always enjoy life. See you see me jumping around in sch dont u. But really, i cant ignore stuff. You get thrown in a pit you can try and climb out or u can pretend nothing happened and start a campfire there. I've always started a campfire. Later, some ppl will stumble onto the campfire and rescue me and yay. Done. But really, the campfire doesnt work this time. Pit's too deep to have ppl come and help u while u campfire. Still... deep pit means to easy to get out of. So yea. Haizz.

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Won't die one la. Problem is like you hit your head... and your hands and you leg and everywhere else... quite heavily, also wont die what. Just very pain...

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Lalalalala

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Meh

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So... I dunno i guess. I know many ppl have problem A or B or C and theirs can be worse but you know you're screwed when you get A, B AND C. Yea.

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Bleh.

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Sigh.

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And the DI ppl ask every week "is there anything special you want to pray for?", and i would be like "no". Thats me i guess. In other words, every single one of you out there who tries something like "are you ok" will receive a "yea of course i am" answer. That doesnt mean everytime i say that its a lie of course. Its just that you cant tell the diff when its the truth or not.

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Hmm...

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Yea...

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Dunno still tackling them all. Some i just play the dao game. Some I sheild and take cover. Some i fight back. And some, i charge straight into steel wall. A spiked steel wall. Well not exactly. I threw a rock first. Then another. Then another. Then another. They all failed to crumble the steel wall. Thats when i punched it a couple of weeks ago. It was a dark room of course so i couldnt tell its a spiked steel wall. Ouch. I thought it would succeed or even if not, has no negative impact. But it proved me wrong. Its very pain of course, but wont die one what. But really, psychologically, it makes a diff and i've been staring at the steel wall since that day, not making a move, unsure of what the outcome might be. Sure maybe i stand with my hand together bowing my head but really, isnt that kind of counting for some boulder to fall from the sky and crush the steel wall? Prayer helps. It can renew your strength. It can guide you to your next move. But as far as mysteriously cracking the steel wall apart, i dont think so. So yes. Thats what initiating faith is about i guess. You have got to make a move before the F14s come in. But of course once again, i say, im standing there, not moving. If by any chance, the F14s hit the steel wall and they explode, even if the wall crumbles then, there wont be any survivors to celebrate its joy. Its just like that. Haha very abstract i guess but yea thats me.

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Meanwhile, i lan, talk, watch videos, i dunno. But still these things catch up and i cant leave them untouched or they keep haunting me. i gotta make a move. But first i gotta figure out whats the best move. Thats where i might take forever... and when i do make a move... it might not really be the best move as i thought it would be...

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Ok... lets end it here. I cant take it anymore. Sorry. I will upload nice videos to cheer up this site once again. Really sorry...