Morning. Friday. Tired. Weary. I have never been someone who can sleep late so sleeping at 12mn when the exams are on the next day isn't exactly the best idea. Then again, I had to choice. Needed to mug. I knew nothing about IHS. Went to sleep at 12mn when i couldn't take it anymore. When i laid down on that bed, I already decided i was not going to make it. Some might say its just an exam. But its not. It represented so much.
My dad fetched me to school as per normal. It started raining very heavily. Dark clouds cover the sky. Darkness surrounds, mirroring what i felt in my heart. A sense of impending doom. Rain pours, each drop that hit the windscreen a mockery to me.
I reached the back gate, stepped out of the car into the bus stop. Opened my umbrella and walked. There were two other students in front of me. Brother and sister sharing one umbrella laughing and chatting happily. I wish i could smile too. I can't. A pool of water is right infront of me. There's no way around it. The water is at least ankle deep. It was forcing me to step right into it. Mockery. Now i had to go through my examinations with dirty, horrible feeling socks and shoes. The canal beside was overflowing with water. It had never overflowed as far as i could remember.
I reached my class. Some people were chatting, some were doing their last minute revision. I was alone. I walked towards the audi. The rain has knocked over all the flowerpots around. People were all over the place talking, laughing. Chaos. In anticipation of their exams. I found a quieter corner and tried to read my notes, one pathetic piece of paper. I couldn't. Discouraged. There seems no hope.
In the dark corridor, i closed my eyes and bowed my head in prayer. A prayer of desperation.
Some of my friends were discussing a possible IHS topic. Settlements. I know nothing about settlements. I just read through the notes once. All i can give is some factors. Thats just not enough in an essay. Someone said i was emo. What can I do. What do you want me to do. I walked off.
I can't do settlements. I hope they give me a question on Japan. And it should be related to Shinto. Thats my best part. Hypothesis question. Just give me anything about fossil fuels or CO2 and i can do it. Anything else im as good as dead. What are the chances. Besides, just because i can do better in these topics doesn't mean its enough to score.
I walk back to the group of friends. A close friend talks about the weather and bus jams. Whats so interesting about the weather and bus jams. Its all but a mockery. He stares at me. I stare back. He thinks we're playing a game. We're not. I walked off.
Returned to my dark corridor. I bowed my head in prayer once more. This time, I didn't ask for magical help in IHS. I asked that I may just be able to do well on the parts that i know. Nothing else. If I fail so be it. After all its hopeless. Gone.
The examinations hall doors open. Its time.
I walked in. Entering an area of doom and devastation. At least. For me.
I found my seat. Sat down. And repeatedly prayed. It was all i had left.
The teacher in charge told us to check our papers. I did. Two questions.
"What would happen to life on Earth if the price of oil were to rise to US $300 a barrel by 2020? Discuss."
Fossil Fuels...
"'The fact is, no culture can be said to be original.' Do you agree with this statement in relation to Japan? Explain your answer."
Culture...Shinto...
I can do it. I know i can.
One and a half hour for two essays. Impossible feat yet planning was swift and power and inspiration ran free within me. I finished it with 5 mins to spare. What i felt then cannot simply be described. Within the silence of the examination hall, i gave thanks.
A thunder roars from outside. It doesn't mock me. It cannot mock me.
Paper over. Collected. Free to go. I burst out of the hall. And ran. And ran. And ran.
It wasn't so much of reaching the SAC fast. It was because it felt so free to run.
The rain has stopped and the sun was appearing from behind the clouds.
I ran past a whiteboard at the space frame. The devotion board. It made me smile
On it was written one simple message.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
---
Oh and happy 500th post. Chinese gardens celebrated that with fireworks 2 hrs ago.
My dad fetched me to school as per normal. It started raining very heavily. Dark clouds cover the sky. Darkness surrounds, mirroring what i felt in my heart. A sense of impending doom. Rain pours, each drop that hit the windscreen a mockery to me.
I reached the back gate, stepped out of the car into the bus stop. Opened my umbrella and walked. There were two other students in front of me. Brother and sister sharing one umbrella laughing and chatting happily. I wish i could smile too. I can't. A pool of water is right infront of me. There's no way around it. The water is at least ankle deep. It was forcing me to step right into it. Mockery. Now i had to go through my examinations with dirty, horrible feeling socks and shoes. The canal beside was overflowing with water. It had never overflowed as far as i could remember.
I reached my class. Some people were chatting, some were doing their last minute revision. I was alone. I walked towards the audi. The rain has knocked over all the flowerpots around. People were all over the place talking, laughing. Chaos. In anticipation of their exams. I found a quieter corner and tried to read my notes, one pathetic piece of paper. I couldn't. Discouraged. There seems no hope.
In the dark corridor, i closed my eyes and bowed my head in prayer. A prayer of desperation.
Some of my friends were discussing a possible IHS topic. Settlements. I know nothing about settlements. I just read through the notes once. All i can give is some factors. Thats just not enough in an essay. Someone said i was emo. What can I do. What do you want me to do. I walked off.
I can't do settlements. I hope they give me a question on Japan. And it should be related to Shinto. Thats my best part. Hypothesis question. Just give me anything about fossil fuels or CO2 and i can do it. Anything else im as good as dead. What are the chances. Besides, just because i can do better in these topics doesn't mean its enough to score.
I walk back to the group of friends. A close friend talks about the weather and bus jams. Whats so interesting about the weather and bus jams. Its all but a mockery. He stares at me. I stare back. He thinks we're playing a game. We're not. I walked off.
Returned to my dark corridor. I bowed my head in prayer once more. This time, I didn't ask for magical help in IHS. I asked that I may just be able to do well on the parts that i know. Nothing else. If I fail so be it. After all its hopeless. Gone.
The examinations hall doors open. Its time.
I walked in. Entering an area of doom and devastation. At least. For me.
I found my seat. Sat down. And repeatedly prayed. It was all i had left.
The teacher in charge told us to check our papers. I did. Two questions.
"What would happen to life on Earth if the price of oil were to rise to US $300 a barrel by 2020? Discuss."
Fossil Fuels...
"'The fact is, no culture can be said to be original.' Do you agree with this statement in relation to Japan? Explain your answer."
Culture...Shinto...
I can do it. I know i can.
One and a half hour for two essays. Impossible feat yet planning was swift and power and inspiration ran free within me. I finished it with 5 mins to spare. What i felt then cannot simply be described. Within the silence of the examination hall, i gave thanks.
A thunder roars from outside. It doesn't mock me. It cannot mock me.
Paper over. Collected. Free to go. I burst out of the hall. And ran. And ran. And ran.
It wasn't so much of reaching the SAC fast. It was because it felt so free to run.
The rain has stopped and the sun was appearing from behind the clouds.
I ran past a whiteboard at the space frame. The devotion board. It made me smile
On it was written one simple message.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
---
Oh and happy 500th post. Chinese gardens celebrated that with fireworks 2 hrs ago.