Chain Mail Sia!!

Apologies for the very weird formatting but hey!! I copied it directly from the email with colour and all so...

LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Sorry, but this chain letter is a lie.
When ReZ got it for the first time,
he replied retardely to Charles
and he still lives just as well
BEWARE, dont be dumb and spread it around!!

Article 1: The ?Kiss (why is the question mark in front of the word)

1. Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek

I just want to be friends

3.Kiss on the neck
I want you

4.Kiss on the lips
I love you

5.Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6.Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes
kiss me

8.Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

10. Fist in face

This is retarded

?

Article 2:
The Three Steps



1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
Then trip him and kick him in the groin while he is hapless and call the police. Make sure he gets arrested and a jail sentence.

2. Guys

If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good. Even if she kicks you in the groin and so on and so forth.


3.Guys & Girls

Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare. Just becareful of that pickpocket nearby.


Article 3:
The Commandments



1.Thou shall not squeeze too hard or there will be a great wave of destruction.

2.Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one. Hey wait didn't your mom teach you not to take things without asking.

3.Thou shall kiss at every opportunity. Like uhm when you're on the phone, or maybe in front of the prime minster. Hey maybe you can kiss the prime minister.

Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:


1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo.

Which is why its better to smell the shampoo directly.

2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder
that when they hit it

it breaks your shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep
STALKER!!

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms
just imagine a jigsaw puzzle

5.
The way they kiss you and all of a sudden
everything is right in the world

and the earthquake and cyclone are not there anymore


6.
How cute they are when they eat

with all the sauce spilling all over the place yum yum


7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed but in the end
it makes it all worth while

caused you leveled your pikachu to level 100 while waiting

8.Because they are always warm
even when its minus 30 outside.

Say did you hear the news about the guy who freezed to death?

9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear

including a clown suit

10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you

are lying

11.
How cute they are when they argue

and break your bones

12. The way her hand always finds your neck


13.
The way they smile (with a sinister glint in their eyes)

14.
The way you feel when you see their name
on the call ID after you just had a big fight

calling you to break up

15.
The way she says 'lets not fight anymore'
even though you know that an hour later....

she comes back armed with a machine gun

16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them

like all their homework and their housework and pay for everything

17.
The way they kiss you when you say
'I love you'

(and you usually tell them that after you give them an expensive gift. Whats the connection i wonder.)

18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...
Manaic

19.
The way they fall into your arms when they cry

and the weight pulls you down and crushes the breadth out of you

20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly

21.

The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

of course the guns hurt

22.

Then the way they apologize when it does hurt.

(even though we are dead by then)!

23. The way they say 'I miss you'

while happily swiping your credit card

24.
The way you miss them

(before you see your bill)

25.
The way their tears make you want to
change the world so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet
regardless if you love them, hate them,
wish they would die or know that you would die
without them ... it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to the depths of their souls
and you say a million things without trace of
a sound, you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart. We love them for a million
reasons, No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

...

...

...

NOTTT.

?

This chain started in 1887.
It is a love chain letter...................................... awww so sweet

In an hour you are supposed to send it to
25 people. It is easy, just look into
chat rooms and find them. Anyway,
send it to 25 people in 1 hour.
Now here comes the fun part. You then say
the name of the person you like or love
and then the person will say 'I love you,' or
'Will you go out with me?'
Tomorrow! WAH REALLY AR!! HOW AR!! I WANT LEH!!
NO JOKE!!!!! OH MY!!

THE CONSEQUENCES?????? i miss you kyle....Joanna (eh the Joanna got style now all the chainmail have this)

The consequences are:

If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck
in future relationships. If you don't break the chain,?????????????????????????

then you will be a happy camper!!! Oh noes im gonna have bad luck!! Pui ar...

CoNgRatULaTioNs!!
You have been chosen to participate
in the
LONGEST
and the
LUCKIEST
chain letter on
the Internet! Once you read,
this letter you must
IMMEDIATELY

(meaning within the hour, which also means you fail english. SEND IT NOW!!! NOW!!! OH NO ITS TOO LATE!! YOU WILL RECEIVE BAD LUCK!!! YOU ARE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEE!!)
be sent to
25
people
After you send it, make a wish
and it will come
TRUE (wahhhhhh)

?

DONT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME
TO SEND IT........ REMEMBER,
IT MUST BE SENT TO
25 PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR, (yes quick go send it now)
OR YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME
TRUE! (:O) If THIS CHAIN LETTER IS
CONTINUED UNTIL THE YEAR 2010,???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
IT WILL BE PLACED IN
THE GUINNESS BOOK
OF WORLD RECORDS! Whoohoo!! I hope this edited chainmail will go into the book yey!!