Kayaking Course

Before we start on this post, something i found on the web as well as an explosm comic.



Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management


Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic

Its funny kay!! Ok explosm is just lame. Anyway im gonna keep this asap (as short as possible) so yups xD. So that you guys dont die from reading double. Anyway Sentosa was the more interesting one and you cant rly explain kayaking course lol. You just. Kayak.


So yes started the day by meeting Mark @ Chinese Gardens MRT. I got up then he take from lakeside come in yea.

Saw Pearl lol she got on at Jurong i think. Then went off at Clementi. I think. Cant rmb heh.

So ya boring stone ride all the way to pasir ris. Like 20+ stops so sian. Stand all the way somemore coz morning rush hour no seat. Ok maybe not all the way last 3 stops or so can seat -.-.

So yar. Fast forward fast forward reach the White Sands then walk out take bus 89. Then full. Cannot take. Wait next bus. Then we also dunno which stop to drop off coz the thing got 3 changi beach stops lol. Then later a whole bunch of the others came and walked to the opposite bus stop so Mark and I were like 'oh shit have we been waiting at the wrong one all this time?' Budden they check the thing le come over to our side so we were right yay.

So skip skip skip again ok reach Changi Village Hawker Centre le. Then 2 ppl missing havnt come. Damn funny i called Keane then after a long period of time of going 'hello hello hello' coz apparently he cannot hear, finally he heard me say 'WHERE ARE YOU' and he replied 'at home'

Its GENIUS ok. And to think just before that Mark was saying 'I bet hes still asleep'.

And dunno wheres Yu Zi (sp?). He mia then no hp cannot contact.

Skip skip skip ok we're at the place le. Skip skip skip ok introductions finished we got our paddles and boat and BUOYANCY VEST. Ahh must know diff between bouyancy vest and life vest.

Skip skip skip skip the entire theory ok we go kayaking. And im like one of the first to be able to move in a direction i want. Notice i said move in a direction i want and not move straight heh.

So yar learn all the maneuvering stuff though some of them i figured out myself already heh. Thats why its a 1 star course its really the basics.

Blah blah blah day end. I really shorten the post with imba skills dont I?

So yar. Took bus back with Mark and Keane and Keane wisely decided to take the bus all the way to Hougang which became part of a joke for tomorrow.

Mark and I got off a Pasir Ris then we walk to White Sand and i bought my SUSHI!!!

Haha reminds me of last year (come to think of it its almost exactly last year) 6jk05 chalet where i ate the sushi inside the no eating and drinking bus to aloha loyang.

I ate one sushi inside the MRT. Just for memories sake xD.

Sidetrack, i think i havnt gone out with the 6jk05 ppl in...2 months? So long meh. And i wont be going anywhere the next week too rawr...

Ok back. I pretty much fell asleep on the train and pew back at home. Day End.

Day 2. Same thing then reach Changi Village. I wanted to eat my Oyster Egg Omelette but its 5 bucks and no one wants to split so meh. I went to the store... look at the Oyster Egg Omelette, then look at the carrot cake... and ordered a carrot cake. Heh.

Yea and i learnt that carrot cake rocks with nasi lemak chili.

Then later everyone was there Yu Zi obviously not coming le since he missed first day no point then we were like 'wheres Keane'.

'I bet hes asleep again'

Then call. Nobody pick up.

And it went on that Keane pon whole day. Damn funny all saying Keane waste his money. Mark was saying Keane got lost in Hougang coz he decided to be smart and take the bus all the way xD.

So ya. Second day same thing. Go inside the creek paddle paddle. EH I CAN PADDLE STRAIGHT ON SECOND DAY OK!!

And i find that low recovery is retarded coz if you gonna capsize le you not going to fold ur arms into a boxlike shape and smack the water -.- And plus the boat so responsive just tilt the otherside can le lol.

Omigosh i suddenly forget whats one of the skills called!! Its like a damn cool skill and i forgot what it was!! I rmb it just moments ago!! Basically you stick the paddle in the water and glide. Then when you push the thing out you start to turn and its like race drifting lol!! Damn cool. Erm erm cant rmb!! Oh noes!!

Yea and then purposely go capsize urself and try to climb up also fun haha.

And a few of us were like playing catching chase one guy and smash into his kayak lol.

And splashing water with the paddle. Smack it vertically water spreadshot fly at others. Close range scoop horizontally and pour into other person's kayak also damn funny.

So yar. Finish kayaking course yay. Get my cert yay. Gonna get my badge yay.

Ok this has been a super summarised kayaking post. I win.

Bye bye.

P.S. Lan Qiu Huo is nice show la. Got so many secret (and thus suspense), so many cool zao and still retain the comedy xD.