"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,
"Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow.
- Ecclesiastes 1:2-11
Whenever people quote Ecclesiastes (I have to learn to spell this I still cant do it properly but its my class name), they seem to only quote chapter 3. You know, the famous one about a time for this and a time for that.
But for me, something I feel that I can understand how Solomon feels.
How we often joke about the 'emo' book. After all, it says everything is meaningless. But how true is that sometimes. Reading chapter 1 verse 2 to 11, I can almost sense the kind of futility in life he must have felt.
On my part, im tired as well. Of life, of the routine in life, of how meaningless are the things we do at times.
Im doing my history essay now. But im sick and tired of it. I was playing dota. Im sick and tired of that too.
And you know what, im also sick and tired of talking to people. Im sick and tired of building relationships. Im sick and tired of trying to make friends. And so much more. All I want to do is to just waste my life away sleeping, taking walks, photographing nice pictures, reading poems and all that. By myself. With no one to interrupt me, with my life running whatever direction I desire.
But ultimately, even those things will be meaningless.
Life as it is, can be quite meaningless.
On some days I wish that I could cease to exist for as long as I desire, like just disappear, without a trace, without being in anyone's memory, as if I never lived, and then come back when I feel like it.
But life doesnt work that way.
Ultimately life goes on, and im going to get the best I can out of it. Till my work here on Earth is done. But even that work can be quite wearisome.