I havnt updated POLAR in like forever, mostly because I ran out of things to put there, but hey whatever. I'll just put something new whenever I have one.
I wasnt gonna comment about my latest one that I just put up today but I just thought that it was interesting in relevance to something. I'm not gonna say what cause its rather queer. I know why I did what I did, but it feels rather weird, but it did remind me of this thing. So yes.
Anyway. The POLAR quote.
"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."
- Heraclitus
So I was just reminded about how we all change as people, and how sometimes we even feel so foreign to who we once were.
Taking myself as an example. I know I was the noisiest most irritating person who could not shut up. Who talks to much and talks to everyone. Who from primary one to primary six caused my parents to receive endless complains.
But circumstances in life changed that. I remember in sec 1 I just became quieter. I dont exactly know the reason for that change but it just happened. And that year my parents didnt receive any complaints. For that matter, my parents havnt received any complaints from the school about me since. Funny, considering I was almost placed in probation last time. And that was phase 1.
And in sec 3, thrown into a new class I recall being even quieter cause I remember when starting out I didnt really like my class (though thinking back now 4.11 is pretty awesome, we really do alot of crazy shit lol). Thats phase 2.
Phase 3. Steel walls set in. Long time followers of this blog should be familiar with this term. Not that steel walls affect me anymore, it hadnt for a long time already, but it was really something that affected me quite alot, and that was really the start of my solitary. Where I started to prefer being alone than being around people.
And then afterwards with the gradual healing process, the shift (haha Bynes would know what this is), being called to step up and step out, year 5, WOW, and certain recent things even. I feel like two different people altogether.
And for me I believe its already not so drastic. I have generally led a rather blessed life, nothing major has hit my life for the past 10 years except finding God, and im not counting that because the way God works is a gradual change, and im talking about events that invoke a sudden major change.
This pattern could perhaps even be traced out in my blog posts. As they can be traced out in anyone who has a long blog history. I went to trace beyond even this blog to my old primary school blog which I never deleted (its hanging around in cyberspace now, go google it if you want its really not that hard to find lol) and I really feel so foreign to myself.
But for this, you're talking about maturing. Obviously I was a kid then, primary school hello, half my life ago.
But, I was just realising that for some other people, their lives can change so much within just a few years. You just go take a look and, I dont know how to say it.
Haha its not that hard to guess what I was doing now is it. Oh well.
Funny, how you might look almost exactly the same, I'm quite amazed at that actually, but the thinking, such a huge difference.
Its all for the better isnt it? But it makes me feel like a stranger all over again. To myself, to everyone else. It kind of, gives the past a new meaning to me. The past seems like its not part of reality.
Can you imagine, a time where you havn't met many of your closest friends you have in your life yet, but yet, we were all existing, walking on Earth, our mindsets so drastically different from how it defines us today.
And you take a time machine, warp through the history of our lives, and you find not nostalgia but confusion?
But the past is the past, its over, it doesnt matter anymore, but somehow, I cant shake off that feeling of how foreign it seems, how disjointed from reality is comes across.
Thank God for the future then, for the future that we mold, for the future that is in His hands. Thank God for the future that we will look back to the past in amazement at how so much has happened. Thank God, that we have a future every single day, that we can continue to live out this human experience called life.
As the river of time flows, so we are not the same man.
Rocks, skipping across the river, disturbances of time. And man.