Thats kinda like how I feel. And what im concerned about.
At JRL now.
I dont know man, but it seems sometimes that people are taking it so easy. Examinations are up and coming and I see people playing games all day.
I dunno, do comment on what im doing and tell me what you think.
What I do is, either late at night before I sleep or early in the morning, I will type into my hp a list of hw that I intend to complete. I dont think I actually put too much. For example, two days ago I had put 'math ws, math revision, math notes and history essay'. Thing is revision was kinda like notes and it was only on vectors and understanding differentiation. History essay I already completed the outline.
Yet in the end, I finished my math stuff only by night. And because I wanted to complete what I set out to do, I stayed up till 5am to finish my history essay.
Thats one case. I dont know, but very often I feel guilty for not completeing what I set out to do, and that happens like 80% of the time.
Its quite stressful. I came here to the library with the intention to complete some stuff, and in the end now, maybe half an hour left before I leave, I only completed 25%.
Its not like I have been slacking the entire way though, usually that might be what happens when im at home, but today I actually tried and focused. Maybe today I did set too much.
But I really feel bad about it.
And I feel stressed out because it seems like theres so little time for so much and that if I dont complete and the pace I set for myself, im not going to be able to complete anything.
I dont want to get average scores, I want to do well for my exams, but it seems to come at such a high price.
I dunno, my body aches and all, its really quite stressful.
I do feel kinda frustrated as well when I cannot complete what I want to do.
So yea, I dont know if anyone can identify with this, but yar.
The only way I stop making myself feel bad is to just declare 'screw it im going to take a break', but then that kinda means I dont get work done.
So I dont know. I just feel that my whole life is being governed by work. When I rest, I think about my unfinished work. When I go and dota, it seems to be time I wasted (even though we all need our breaks).
Bynes reads books. Chun Wee plays games. Eugene has training and all that. I therefore can afford to use some time for my own recreation as well and still be ok with my work theoratically, but it seems somehow that isnt going right.
Its like, I need to choose between having a balance in my life and therefore scoring ok, or I need to really work non stop and get good grades. And I want to get good grades so I feel really guilty everytime.
Im already doing significantly more than 20 hours a week. Excluding lessons.
So how?
Sigh =/.
P.S. The one thing I dont want to hear: 'just work hard, its only four more weeks, after that you can enjoy yourself already'. I know that. It doesnt change the situation above.