Still standing, still watching. Will I persevere?
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I like the sanctuary. Sometimes, I feel that some places feel like its so much receiving from God, so much atmosphere, so much verses that encourage us and all, but too little about serving God, giving to Him. Its a place where you hear the sounds of people, yet at the same time its perfectly blended with the peace from God, and all else fades away.
And the words inscribed. Its a challenge. This is the Word of God. The Word that is often not mentioned, this is the Word about the Kingdom, the Word about God's will, the Word about what He and not us wants to do.
Along the sides. The words inscribed.
To live is Christ, to die is gain.
When I read some of the things that are in the Word, I feel so intimidated. It looks so tough. I dont want to mouth slogans like the above just like that, I want to live it. And I look at what it says and I wonder if I truly can.
But then God reminds me, that it is He who works in me.
Press on. That too is no longer just a slogan. Its a challenge.
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Perseverance. What is perseverance?
What is Biblical perseverance?
No one knows for certain how long Noah took to build the ark. The maximum is a hundred years of course, but it could easily have been alot lesser too. But think about it, with the technology of today perhaps it would be pretty quick, but in those days?
Even if we were to assume that Noah took merely ten years to build the ark, thats alot. Think its unfair because Noah lived till 950? Alright assume you live to 95. Divide it by ten.
Would I be able to persevere in something for just a year?
Noah just did it. It was ridiculous. What ark. Pure nonsense. Gibberish.
But he did it. He trusted in God's provision. Believed that God will see him through, even though he did not understand everything.
Against all odds, he persevered.
Nowadays, we can barely persevere for a few days, even when the odds arent stacked against us.
It just makes me realise I have a long way to go.
What about Job?
Job never lost his faith in God, even under the most heartbreaking circumstances that tested him to his core. It’s hard to imagine losing everything we own in one day—property, possessions, and even children. Most men would sink into depression and even become suicidal after such a nightmare; however, although Job must have felt all those emotions, he never wavered in his understanding that God was still in control. Job’s three friends, on the other hand, instead of comforting him, gave him bad advice and even accused him of committing sins so grievous that God was punishing him by making his life miserable. Job knew God well enough to know that He did not work that way; in fact, he had such an intimate, personal relationship with Him that he was able to make the statement, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face"
- http://www.gotquestions.org/life-Job.html
We dont know how long Job's trial lasted. But I think I wouldnt last a day. And certainly it lasted more than that for Job, for in Job 2 it is written that he sat down for seven days and seven nights before speaking.
Perseverance.
Will I persevere?
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On another unrelated note, now im worried for history? =/
But I wonder, am I too much of a perfectionist?
I actually went up to Belchel the other day and asked him why I only got 14/20 when majority of the people were getting less than me. I thought about it. 14/20 is actually 70%. Thats seven points. Add on to the fact that its probably easier to score for DRQ than essay.
Of course, the problem is that I referred to notes while doing that essay, I dont get to do that during the exams.
But seriously, I wont be satisfied until I can break that 16 mark barrier. I am determined to get to that mark band. As of the moment, I am obsessed with 'specific detailed knowledge' and 'questioning the assumptions'.
But I cant even remember my basic facts right now. So yea there is a cause to worry about for history, I'll probably land a maximum of 12 if I go to the exams now. Actually for econs too. Because even though I can explain everything with my notes since I understand it, I cant explain anything without it cause I cant remember. I have terrible memory =/.
I will focus more on these two this time. After all they are what I consider my core subjects. I think I will be alright if I just pass math though I would prefer a five points at least and I will be ok with getting a six this time round for physics instead of my intended seven. Chinese is over today, messed up paper 1 but did well for paper 2 so I dont know yet, english, uhh, huck finn can go take a jump lol.
Its all cool though. I want to do well for this paper, get 36 points hopefully, but I kinda thought through it and realised that it doesnt really matter even if I dont so if im still unprepared before the exam, doesnt matter. Just relax and go, so long as I know I have done by best (and certainly I have).
Do not worry.
Trust in the Lord. Always.