Heres a question for everyone.
Have you ever hit a point where you just don't know what to do? This question sounds common but I am not referring to reaching a low time where you feel helpless, unable to do anything and hence 'you dont know what to do'.
Im referring to a situation where you do probably have the power to decide what to do (or at least a little bit of power), but its so exceedingly complex that you don't know which path to take.
This feels, not right, somehow, I cant convey it properly hmm.
I'm not talking about indecision or fickleness either. Like sitting on a fence between eating chicken rice or wanton mee.
Closest I can think of is like one of those ethics questions with the five man and one man on the train tracks thing. Come to think of it, in a way it is an ethics question. Except that all your life you probably aren't going to encounter such an ethical situation with the trains but this one I have is very real.
You dont know what to do. You can't logically come to a conclusion because logic leads you down to opposing separate paths. You can't use your intuition either, because you aren't even emotionally titled towards one side but rather your emotions are tangled up and unable to discern a direction.
Its the kind of thing where you say 'alright I'll flip a coin', and when you get heads, you cant make yourself do it. You flip again, you get tails, and you cant make yourself do that either.
It is probably the only time in my life where I asked myself 'what would Jesus do' and I am absolutely stumped. I dont actually know what Jesus would do.
And when you can't make up your mind on both sides, you hang on a middle ground, and really, the middle ground is a worse position to take than the other two paths. The fence isnt a very nice place to sit. Which is why one ought to decide which path to take and stop heading down this middle path. But unfortunately, I cant decide, so I keep heading down the middle path.