Never enough time

From young we are told about how we ought to manage our time. Our priorities. And we often are taught this format of grouping things into four main groups. 'Urgent and important', 'Not urgent and important', 'Urgent and not important' and 'Not urgent and not important', all these in decreasing order of how we should do them.

I dont know how many people actually manage their time according to this. At first glace, it does seem like a very good way to do things doesn't it. And it goes in line with that story we always hear about golf balls, marbles, sand and coffee.

I have problems with this though.

Nowadays, there are too many things in the first category. As of now, I have so many things in that category that its not funny. Well its better than maybe during the exam period and stuff but I am seriously highly annoyed because this is post exam period. Supposedly slack but what do you know. And this is me, someone who already is considered to have not as much commitments as other people may have.

What happens is that there is so much that if we were to really go by that prioritising, we aren't going to be able to do anything else. And the thing is that, this priority thing does not factor anything about motivation. Anything that is in that category most likely is going to be work, and certainly work isnt particularly enjoying.

What this method which we have been taught all our lives is hence advocating is that we lose our life, we lose our identity, we lose who we are, and we subscribe to the world's system of working non stop as an ideal person.

As much as an efficiency freak I am, I find this absolutely detestable.

There is a huge difference between what we want to do and what we find a chore. Work is going to come under chores. My question then is that, when we are working with the supposedly 'right' priorities, are we happy, are we satisfied with where our lives are going?

Im not. I dont want to waste my life away doing these things of 'higher priority'. But I still have to, and it sucks.

Its post exams. I just want to take a lepak and hone my invoker skills in dota. Complete waste of time some might say, but look, is there anything wrong with enjoying life? If I find satisfaction in doing this, do I not have the right to? But no, it seems as if that every moment I spend playing is a moment I ought to be doing these more 'urgent and important' things.

Think that point raised is stupid because you dont play games anyway? Well if you're gonna be the one whos likely to tell me 'just tahan for now and after that can relax already', I have been tahaning for one whole year. Its not funny. I dont think games are an important part of my life, but I dont think I should be stripped of my ability to indulge in them.

Still not convinced because you think games are irrelevant? Alright, point taken, then how about these other ones.

Just talking to people. I used to have the time to just come online, click a few names on msn and start chatting for an hour or two. Not this year. I just want to really have the time to slow down and chat with people. Not about our work but really, just talking about anything under the sun. It could be msn, or we could sit under the stars. But I cant do that huh? Because relationships are important but not urgent. So priority should be placed elsewhere. Ok then bye bye lets not waste time building relationships. Only work is important.

Dance and parkour. Two things I have an interest in but I could never afford the time to really dedicate myself to its practice and hence up till now I still have an inability to do well in these stuff. Oh dear im sorry, they belong to the fourth category. They aren't important, nor are they urgent. You can always do it another time can't you. Why waste your time doing things you really love when you could be doing the things you hate, but are technically more important and urgent?

For that matter, why am I blogging now? Blogging is merely an expression of my thoughts and feelings. Is it really that important? Is it really that urgent? Cant I blog another time? Certainly. I should be doing my homework.

Hey you, why are you reading this blog. Go do your work. What a waste of time to spend here.

Hell, dont read your Bible. You see, its important, but you could always do it when you have more time doesnt it. Your Bible is always there, does it matter if you read it another day?

Yes. Thats right, keeping pushing these things away, and focus on the things that will build up society. Go study hard, get good grades, get to a good school, study hard, get good grades, get a good job, work hard, earn lots of money, support your family (or not, I mean come on its important but not urgent), work hard, die.

My work list is endless. It never emptied once since the start of this year.

I also have a list of things that I want to do. Sadly, this list doesnt empty itself either. And unlike the first list, its not because new things keep coming in. Its because the old stuff that I always wanted to do, doesn't get done.

Time is a limited resource. How are we going to spend it? The way the government or our society tells us to, or the way we want to?