If all we have is love
Then all I have is You
If life is what we choose
My choice is You
I'm coming Your way
I'm coming Your way
I'm coming Your way
If all we do is try
I'm giving You, all mine
If faith helps us to decide
I have decided
With all of my breath
With this heart in my chest
Every look in my eye
You'll know why
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I fell asleep at ten and woke up at three LOL. Oh noes I pulled off a bynes. Well, except bynes does it intentionally.
My parents just went on a holiday and my bro's at camp today, thats why stuff like these happen. If not, my mom would probably have woken me up at like 11.
Its interesting I guess. I won't do it everyday, but somehow, tonight feels quite peaceful. Something I admit I've been lacking very much. The whole word around me, its silent, and I can take it all in.
Stop the world I wanna get out,
I need an escape away from this crowd,
Just to hear You speak to me.
I learnt that rest is one thing, resting in God is completely different. Nowadays, I do have quite alot more time on my hands and I spend it resting by gaming away and all, catching up on the lost time throughout the year. But after awhile, this rest does make me rather tired too.
Been seeking, searching. What do I do with this life that I have?
I don’t wanna go through the motions,
I don’t wanna go one more day,
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me.
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
'What if I had given everything?'
Instead of going through the motions.
Not that im a matthew west fan or anything haha just that these are really applicable now.
Its weird. Today, I was just kinda really struggling with God. In fact when I fell asleep at ten, it was during QT. Struggling like, walking out of phase. Fighting to reach out and fighting to pull away at the same time. Its hard, this suspension. Its a complex feeling of really desiring to seek God more, but yet at the same time just running the other way. Its not like, you're trying to live a facade and pretending to love God and all, you really try to, but its hard.
I remember before going to my grandmother's house for dinner today (yesterday), it was after some incidents took place, and I was thinking to myself, 'no you dont really love God, God loves you but you really dont love God'.
Im not sure where I stand now. Sometimes, its funny you know, when you dedicate your life to God and you say 'I'll do it', you don't. When you say to yourself 'enough is enough' and you decide that you're gonna overcome, give and take two weeks, you fall back down again.
Which is why, sometimes im afraid. But still, just because I struggle and I keep falling, it doesnt mean I shouldn't press on. This is after all a fight of faith, not a walk in the park.
And I know at the end of the day, its not by my me. My strength comes from Christ who lives in me. Creator God, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, reigning in weak, pathetic me.
And that is enough.
With relentless grace, God its me You chase.
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Take me to the place lord
Where there’s nothing else but me and you
Longing for your presence
I know that you are calling me to you
Here i stand
And long for your embrace
Nothing else
Could ever take your place
Come holy spirit
Fall in this place
I need more and more of you
Fill me again with the power of your spirit
Lord i’m crying out for
More and more of you
Lord i’m crying out for
More and more of you (oh)
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Thank you Lord, for this night, where time and space seems to have ceased and in silent meditation I can come before You. You know the difficulties I face in reaching to You, in walking in step with You, in seeking Your will above all else, but you also know that despite all that, I do desire to seek You and draw near to You. I may not do it too successfully but God, you look at my heart, and You know, You understand. I know that I am incapable of carrying on without You, but with You, this battle can be won, and in the victory, all praise and glory be to You. You know my apprehension in declaring that I have overcome. I'd dare not, because every time, I fail You again.
Instead, I want to have the faith to believe in Your sanctification work in me, that each and every single day of my life, You are working in me, molding me in Your image, and over time, one day I will look back and say, yes the Lord has accomplished it. I don't want to pretend that all of a sudden after tonight, I have become holy and righteous, but I wanna believe that after tonight, a new phase of work has begun in me. I am afraid that it is a work that will not complete, that as always I keep faltering, but I know that even if I falter after a few steps, it is a few steps more taken in this marathon. And I will keep getting up, and I keep running, till I reach the end of this race and claim the prize that You have in store for me.
I thank You Lord, that You never give up on me. You never leave me, nor forsake me. Even when we are faithless, you remain faithful, always. And it is with that assurance, that I will keep fighting. And so I entrust this life into Your hands, believing that You will lead me and guide me into the way that is everlasting.
Amen.
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Here I am, at Your feet
Crying out to You
Draw me near, hold me close
Lord I wait on You
For You're my greatest love
You're my comforter and strength
You're the first, You're the last
You're my guiding light
I will run, I will soar
On eagle's wings
As I wait, on You Lord
My strength is restored
Fix my eyes on you Jesus
As I run this race
Help me fight this fight of faith
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