Eyes fixed

Well this afternoon I suddenly seemed to have a craving to want to talk to people. Yes, craving doesn't seem to be the right word to use but thats exactly how it feels like. Something that I havn't had a taste of in some time and would very much like to have it again.

I am actually rather surprised at how much I do miss some people. I guess it seems that alot has happened while I was away and I find myself a little out of touch and wanting to come back.

Apparently though, im the only one online on weekday afternoons .Seriously is everyone having a social life except me or what.

Hows life everybody? =)


You know, tmr my bro's at home so no comp for me, plus I might have BSS and theres pm at night (yey meet everyone again), then fri hes home too so again no comp then watchnight then new year then house blessing then di then church and all, then school reopens.

And I didnt finish the things I set out to accomplish to ready myself for the new year.

Sigh, well the most of them I put on hold its still fine, but im trying not to get freaked out by EE.

I really hated the season of stress and rush to finish my work and all so I want to not think about it and just take my time. I hope this is the right decision.

I wanna slack off abit now having just come back, and dota just released a new version so hmm.


That is for this hols that are coming to an end at any rate. The last of my slacking days. This part is different. Im thinking for the new year, something that God impressed upon me.

Its year 6. Apparently its supposed to be the shittiest year of my life lol. Apparently im supposed to become the very definition of a no lifer because there will never be a year busier than year 6.

Yet, I need to make time.

One thing I must really be convicted of, I must never say, its year 6, do less for the Lord this year and focus more on studies, then after IB examinations I can serve.

The thing is, the things of God seem like things that can be done 'another day', things that can be delayed without apparent consequence, while our workload will come back and haunt us if we do not complete them. Thats why we tend to give more to it. The other distraction, recreation in excess, provides us with instant gratification.


I believe next year even with the increasing workload I will face, it will also the year that I will serve my Lord and my God.

In primers, camp committee member. It may not be coy camp or anything, my responsibility may be merely a saikang warrior type of work, but I believe that God will work mightily.

In kairos, really helping the younger ones grow deeper in their faith. Seems like joshua has been on XD day 2  for half a year now, and I havnt issued him the long awaited nlk retest, nor have I gone through nlk with cw since that very first one.

Whatever else there may be, I dont know. Some people I know are quite excited about DI mission trip. Im not sure whether im eligible I wasnt at camp when it was talked about (I'll go ask), but I was just thinking, if given the opportunity, would I go for it? It is after all my critical year.

Really, when I consider the vast amount of things that I ought to be doing for God and yet I personally feel that I have not been doing enough of, I wonder how does what I do reflect my belief that God is central and first place in my life.

Sometimes, the issue lies with faith. Faith is a word that keeps getting tossed around.

The words that God impressed upon me were straightforward and yet rather startling at the same time. When we tell ourselves that we have no time and we need to do this and do that instead of doing the work of God, what we are exhibiting is really a lack of faith.

A lack of faith to believe that God will see us through.

A lack of faith to believe the Word of God that tells us that He honours those who honour Him.

A lack of faith to believe that when we seek first his kingdom, all other things will be taken care of.

In many things I may have faith. Yet perhaps stripped down to this one particular aspect, it is quite stunning. I am choosing to believe that I must invest my time in the things of this world to see it well done and completed, instead of trusting in the God who made the heavens and the earth, the one whom from which all creation came to being.

Its a challenge. I highly doubt that having this understanding now I will immediately be able to apply it. Im still a lazy bugger mostly, and I still tend to believe in my own strength rather than others when it comes to things that I feel that I myself am able to handle.

Do we only turn to God when we really are in deep shit, or should God not be in all, in everything?

I guess I want to be in control. Makes me feel like I know what is going to happen, I can predict what will come to pass in the future. Yet it is exactly this that would make me rely on myself than upon God.

I need to renew my mind however. These things that are only material and momentary will fade away, and though they may be important in our lives, they are not what really counts for eternity. Instead, I need to seek the things that are of the kingdom of God, and entrust all the rest to Him who watches over me.

Care to join me in this journey anyone? I can't do it alone. My old ways keep creeping up to me and throwing me off track. I need people who are willing to go and move forward together with me.

Together we will be the bringers of a spiritual revolution.