Hmm, apparently I cant get internet on my dad's comp, so I hope this will be a productive day of doing EE. Im gonna try.
Yea I know I posted that song like many times already but I like it lol so too bad.
I've just been thinking. Quite a bit really.
Its funny, how this year will end on this note. I wish it weren't so but sometimes things are beyond our control no matter how much we will it to be.
There are now two days that I am awaiting to arrive. I do not know when they will come, and I do not know in what form they will come, but they will. This almost sounds like the Second Coming lol, but no its not.
The order in which they arrive matters. If one comes before the other, everything will be alright. If the other comes first, things will get really messy. For me at least.
Im just wondering, how would life be like after all these. Whether I like it or not, it has become an integral part of my life and with its absence, things will be very different. Exactly how I do not know really. Many things I do not know, this is really completely new to me.
Its all inevitable, and really now im just waiting. Funny, how over time these ideas have morphed till now it comes to this state.
Feels almost like a tragedy.
I guess it is a tragedy. It is death after all. Just a different type of death.
Parenting isnt an easy job.
Imagine, the things you say, your every action, every little thing you do, they all will become the environment in which your child grows up in. You do not know how they may affect them. Everything comes with side effects. The things that you thought good may have adverse effects. A perfect balance must be struck so in order that the child may not grow up too slanted to one side in regards to pretty much everything. Their attitudes, their beliefs, their lifestyle, their personality, almost everything about them will be in large crafted by you, and sometimes not in the way you desire it to have turned out. There is no escaping it. Even by choosing to not be too involved in their lives, you have made a choice that will affect the way they live.
Its a scary thought, the amount of power you have over a life. And its scarier knowing that we aren't perfect and some way or another we will screw up.
I have plenty of things that bombard my heart and mind right now, but I cant seem to resolve them or put them into words. Its an abstract mess. Emotions that I cannot place, thoughts that I cannot grasp. They formulate in me and will not go away.
P.S. Anyone wanna go out before watchnight tomorrow? I would rather go somewhere after it but I have house blessing the following day.