I dont like to whine about myself. Some people have the habit of going on and on about how lousy they are and stuff and personally I find it rather stupid. Its really just feeding yourself with negative emotions and making yourself feel lousy.
Yet sometimes I do wonder, what are the things that I am actually good at?
Some people say I can write. They take the existence of this blog as proof of that. Probably the only aspect of writing im better at is 'essay structure' actually. Like, I know how to write something that flows nicely and overall puts up a compelling picture.
That together with perhaps the fact that I actually spend time blogging and that I actually have content to talk about gives that illusion.
Have you seen people who really write? There are so many people who write beautifully. Poetic. Brilliant. Those people can write. Not me. Granted, im not completely bad at it, but I could never write a poem. I tried many times really, under the encouragement of some friends even, but nothing came to be.
Well, im only talking about writing because I anticipate that as something people will say. Its just that there are many things that I really feel very much drawn to and as much as I hope for myself to be able to do them, I find that I have no sense in it.
I'll say, most of them have to do with the things that are considered 'beautiful'. Art forms. Literature, music, dance, graphic design. I cant get those things right.
Im not being an emo bum or anything, but I do wish I could do something. I cant do sports either but honestly I dont really care about that because it doesnt interest me. Those things do however, and it sucks that I cant seem to be able to do them.
I could add on. Im bad at math. Before someone throws the 'but you're HL' at me, I just had a talk with my math teacher today on how I wasnt doing very well for the subject. Its not that important either though, math is frankly quite useless in the future anyway.
I dont know. Its quite sad really, when you realise that there isnt much you can actually consider yourself good at. I know there are more important things, but wouldnt it be nice if you could have something you could truly say you are talented in?
Feels like I totally wasted tonight, not too good a thing in light of the heavy workload I have. Should have just gone and do my math.
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