I guess you could say im feeling a little discouraged. Im really really encouraged by all the developments around me and I know that I had a big part to play in settings the conditions that allowed it all to happen and I know I can be confident of whats ahead, yet on the personal level, it isnt quite right and I dont really know what to do about it.

The fact that for some strange reason I take forever to study as compared to other people isnt helping. I mean, hey at least if I did some work I'll feel more useful.