That was, really painful to watch.

As per normal, I go to my grandma's house for dinner and eat while watching ai. Usually im the one clearing the food, so I eat past eight and ai ends and I just watch whatever comes after that as well until im done eating.

Well usually at this time, they show those random non drama shows that no one watches. There was a cooking one some time back but it ended, they have some revamp a house one, some travel around the world one. Today's one was actually one of the actors (dennis, I forgot his full english name and also his chinese name) going to Thailand to help out with the kids and it makes me think of Sawang, especially since mission's sunday was just over.

Its devastating. They went to help out at this children's home where half the children were afflicted with HIV. Its so sad. There was this sixteen year old girl who couldnt take solid food because of her stomach walls were in a terrible state. Everytime she ate, she would just puke everything out again, so they had to specially make porridge for her and let her eat lesser per meal but five meals per day. Often she would feel unwell and sometimes cough blood and so on. The actor dennis said that earlier he had offered sweets to the entire class at the workshop and everyone accepted them eagerly except her, and he only found out later that this was the reason.

And they talked about life expectancy of the kids stricken with HIV. And it makes me realise that perhaps in one year's time, some of those people on tv may not even be alive anymore, and its a scary thought.

Its a terrible pity that some conflicts arose and they had to leave. Like as if everything was not saddening enough, the fact that the good work started cannot be brought to completion was just heart wrenching.

It was a one hour show and all that happened in the first half an hour. They had no choice so they went to some other random village and continued to do what they could over there, but it really wasn't the same.

And I wonder, these are the perceptions of us staying at home. What was it like for the tv crew and the volunteer who went over?

What was it like for the people who actually live there?


I really wanted to go to Sawang this year actually. When I first heard about how there was going to be a DI mission trip last year, I really wanted to go for it, regardless of whether I was in IB. When love beyond came around, I thought I would go. But IB prevented me, telling me that even if I rushed everything before that it still wasnt enough time. So I couldnt.

Gotta go next year. Hopefully I can take leave or something.

There is so much out there in this world. Unless you walk with them, live with them, share your life with them, you can never come close to understanding.

Sometimes I feel so distraught that my life seems to be going so well while so many people around are suffering.

Its more than fun and laughter, more than a new experience. It something that threatens to overturn your life once you truly understand.

Until then, back home we have our local mission field. We do what we can over here.

What do you live for?