I had the privilege of being the one to add chairs at the back of honour room today. Added one row initially because there wasnt enough seating space for myself and a few others. After worship, with the addition of a few phoster members, another row had to be added for them. As I put down these second set of chairs, I saw that this new row of chairs had entered into the space where the old glory room was.
There was a time when si er had said in faith 'lets tear down this room', he believed that DI was going to grow and the additional space would be necessary for more seats. With my very eyes today, I see it come to pass.
I remember he said something else then too. We're not going to just clear that room for a few more chairs, we're going to fill the chairs all the way to the back of the room.
And I earnestly await for that day.
There was some other exercise we did long ago too, everyone held hands and formed a circle. The circle wasnt large enough to touch the ends of the room. The second time we did it, it was. During the Christmas event while we had an activity, the circle spread into the old glory room, and that occurred while everyone was quite closely packed together.
Im not a fan of huge groups of people, and the increased difficulty of a functioning dinner group is getting at me, but tonight was a beautiful night and even if it means we wont ever be able to find seats in any eateries ever again, I think im fine with that.
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We've been through much, and we've emerged stronger.
There have been losses, some of which I still look back at regretfully. There are things I have failed to do, consequences which could have been avoided had I not shown neglect. I believe the absence of love, seen through things like judgmental attitudes, apathy, as well as lack of empathy have cost us. Though its been awhile and I dont feel much of the pain anymore, it still saddens me whenever I think of it. I feel responsible. I could have done something, could have made it all different.
And its the truth, so dont dissuade me of it. What God has entrusted to me I have failed to carry through.
But we must not live in past regrets. Whats done is done. What matters is how we move from hence forth. And im glad God has given me a second chance, one which is undeserving in many ways, a product not of my effort but simply appeared out of nowhere. Though what has already been lost perhaps may never be reclaimed, but what was almost lost is back here, and this time I must not fail.
And thus far, it has gone well, and I am truly thankful.
Never again will I want to go through the time of two-man cells. Never again will I allow it to happen. All that God has entrusted this time round, I will carry through. I know im not the best man for the job, but it doesnt matter, I do what I can. Im still trying, im still learning.
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Sometimes, its amazing how we can make an impact simply by being ourselves. When we speak of being the 'light of the world', it becomes a little old sometimes, not quite understanding the full extent of what it means. We understand the analogy of how a small light can make a difference in a dark room, but we cant quite see how it translates into real life.
Yet I am amazed at the things that can happen when we simply choose to live the God life. After awhile, in some ways it becomes quite natural to us, we don't even think about what we do (of course there are still times we struggle), yet that which is ordinary to us has an extraordinary effect on other people.
Sometimes, we dont realise just how much power is in us to make a difference. Every single little thing we do, conscious or subconscious, things we dont even think about, goes a long way in making a difference in someone's life. We often dont actually see the effect of it very clearly or instantly, but its there. As a friend put it, 'just as the weather is chaotic and a butterfly can cause a hurricane, we are butterflies; all actions in all time reverberate eternally'.
Be like Christ, be the light of the world. You wont see the results immediately perhaps, but you'll be surprised when you do.
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I always remember this song as where I began, and I dont listen to it much anymore, but its fresh each time I do, connecting me from in the days past to where I am today.
We've found our voice
We've found our cause
We're on our knees
The carpet's worn
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