1) Sometimes I tend to make a small issue really big. People might complain that im blowing up an issue out of proportions, but from my perspective, its mainly because I dont just look at the incident itself, but am examining the principles behind it. If I find the principles behind it questionable, even if its really an extremely small matter, I may outright refuse to agree and instead challenge the person who raised it up to rethink instead. This is good in that im not easily swayed and dont simply follow others, but it may be detrimental in occasions where the principle I challenge isnt a matter of right or wrong but simply differing opinions, and an unwillingness to compromise might be seen in a negative light.
2) On a related issue, I dont quite believe in authority for the sake of it. Humans are not perfect creatures. It matters not who you are, how pure your intentions are, how wise you usually are. If something you want me to do is iffy, I will challenge it. Again, its good that one does not blindly follow leaders, for that is how people are deceived. Biblically, we are called to be discerning and warned against false prophets. At the same time, biblically we are also called to submit to authority, and the act of submission itself has value in other areas as well. For example, in war, if the captain has an idea but the sergeant has his own, even if the sergeant's idea may be better, by disobeying his captain, the divisions and disunity that results may cause more harm than the inferior idea that the captain had compared to the sergeant. Im still wondering myself about the question of submitting to authorities (well, I just sent a 21 sms long sms to eugene on this heh, the freedom of unlimited sms is good).
3) I tend to second guess people. In a sense, its like akiyama and his doubting thing in liar game. After all, I am aware that we are all diabolical creatures, and to imagine that everyone's intentions always completely pure would be a grave mistakes. I also second guess beliefs that people may have and how it motivates them. Sometimes, people's intentions are indeed pure, but they can still be mistaken. Its one thing to keep these to myself though, its another to voice it out. I guess I can be very accusatory when it comes to picking at the intentions of other people in doing certain things. Well, I try not to, because it hurts the feelings of others, because I may be wrong, because its comes across as judgmental. Its almost never my intention though. To cut deep into the core of the issue, the principles behind it all, the beliefs that motivate them, and to question them, to me, that isnt attacking someone, thats repair work. I do it in hopes that the person will think deeper, to consider that their views which they hold so dearly may be incorrect. Unfortunately, people may find me antagonistic and judgmental sometimes because of that. I must say though, I question myself more than I question anyone else. I recognise my weaknesses and my follies. More often than not when I choose to point out other people's problems and mistakes, it is not meant to condemn. It is in hopes of sparking recognition of their weaknesses, in hopes that they will improve to become better people. In this, sometimes I feel woefully misunderstood. Perhaps my overly direct approach is wrong.
4) While I claim that I will listen to the ideas of other people and am willing to accept their different opinions, many people may still find me stubborn. Its true though, I will do it. I will always adopt the best idea, and if mine is inferior, I will throw it away with hesitation. To be honest, most of the time I appear stubborn because the new ideas thrown at me fail to convince me that they are better than my ideas. There are simple reasons for this. Firstly, due to my constant questioning, my ideas are rather refined ideas. I dont suppose they are the best, but I'd like to think they are pretty good, if not they would have been thrown out for better ideas long ago. Secondly, my ideas have synergy with other ideas/beliefs that I may have. There is internal consistency, and the introduction of a foreign idea may break that internal consistency. A system that does not have internal consistency is a failed system, hence these new ideas may be rejected. Thirdly, I rely on a good deal of logic and reason for people to convince me of their ideas. As such, when people attempt to use emotional appeal to have me listen to their ideas, it just doesnt work, for I will sieve out everything and separate the actual argument from the feelings. Fourthly, people may not necessarily be able to present their ideas well in words. The presentation may be riddled with fallacies, false assumptions and lack of clarity. As such, even if the idea itself may be better, it is still rejected because it fails to convince me. So at the end of the day, people might mistake me for being stubborn, especially when I outright reject what I consider to be inferior ideas. Certainly not. Convince me, and I will listen. Some people seem to have a knack to be able to do that for me, and I have adopted many of their ideas in my life. Some people just cannot do it, and that is unfortunate, for I suspect that they too have something to offer which I seem to be unable to draw from.
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