Pride can come in many forms. C.S. Lewis calls it the great sin, the essential vice (because pride leads to every other vice), the complete anti-God state of mind. One of the most dangerous things about pride is that it can take many forms, giving it a power to remain undetected, camouflaged under layers and layers of other vices, virtues and sometimes even in seeming nothingness.
It occurs to me recently, that the self conceived insights I hold on to, the strong opinions I form, sometimes all for the good of the Gospel of the Kingdom is a manifestation of pride. Often I feel blessed to be in a position of knowledge, to be more discerning, not one to be of the herd mentality. I thrive in my rebellion against societal norms, believing that the average person doesnt really use his brain much and makes bad decisions.
I still dont disagree by the way. The average person really does need to think things through more instead of taking blind steps. Yet when I come to think of myself as above others, looking at them as inferior, that is pride. The reason why its camouflaged is because I dont think 'bah these lousy people', instead I think 'hmm poor thing thats a mistake commonly made', and then I actually kind of sympatize them, as if I have the right to show sympathy.
Who am I to take pride in my ideas and perspectives on this world? The main reason why I came to the realisation of this pride that exists in me is due to the realisation that I dont actually know much. That there are far too many things I do not understand, too many truths I have not internalised. There are things that I find myself unable to comprehend. In my limitations, how dare I claim myself superior? Its like a goldfish saying to a guppy 'haha im a really huge fish unlike you'.
I need more humility, to accept that my ways arent the best, that my ideas on how to live life arent perfect. To be rid of humanly pride and exchange it for godly wisdom.
Wisdom. Something I lack and I need. When wisdom is gained, it will be translated into lifestyle.
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