2015

At the end of 2013, I believe one of the biggest things at the forefront of my mind then was 2014 was the year of ORD. I still vaguely remember the early days of 2014, in particular my first book in of the year. I have a memory of the grey cupboard and drawer and setting up my tumblr while lying on the grey bed.

Ah those army days, when it's over sometimes you almost miss it. You do get a sense of attachment to things and places if you have to be there for such a long time I guess. Absolutely no intention of reliving them, good riddance, but yea you do miss it sometimes. I guess it will make reservist more interesting heh.

The little privileges. Being able to book out to come home and enjoy a meal with family, or to go for wednesday prayer meetings. In those days, such opportunities are things to really be thankful for.

So I don't deny that ORD was a big deal. The lives I lived before, during and after army are really different. Looking back, I am thankful for the little things I have now. Sending my laptop to repair for a week seems like such a long time, I had thought to myself what was I going to do with my time, but I had got by with so much more restrictions back then.

Still, now coming to the end of 2014, it feels like such a distant past. Strangely, army life feels disconnected from everything else I am now, and I feel more connected with my JC days. Probably because I'm meeting old friends in school, and well I'm studying again. Then there is the new people you meet, the things you do and so on that more closely mirror that of those days rather than the very different army life.

It's good. Take away the important things, the unimportant ones, we can put them aside.

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So I wasn't actually intending to talk about army at all but somehow those thoughts just came to me and I typed them down. I wanted to say, that despite ORD being a big deal this year, it feels so long ago, like a past life. And despite going into the year with it being at the forefront of my mind, thinking it would be one of the highlights of 2014, I must say there have been many other highlights.

365 days is a long enough time that there have been many other important things in my life this year other than it. One thing I didn't really expect looking forward into this year was that 2014 would be a year of stepping into new shoes. Responsibilities and leadership.

In DI, for the longest time I had been content with being part of the old generation who would give way and let the new generation take their place. My generation already had people holding the fort, there wasn't a need to add to their number, more importantly was that the next generation be ready to assist them. Things are not to be though, and now I am where I am. It is certainly unexpected. Here I was being an ordinary dude, and within a span of a few months, I have been handled multiple responsibilities.

To be perfectly honest, I had confidence I could handle most of them. Being part of the leadership team as a junior member, planning events, co-leading a sub-ministry. Smaller scale leadership is something I think I can do quite well. On a larger scale though, direction, mission, culture, these big concepts to grapple with. Now that's something new. I'm not really sure how well I can perform in this, and the weight of it is huge. 

That though, is the point isn't it. It was precisely because I had confidence to handle the rest in my own strength, that I need to pushed to an area where I know I need God. And that is why despite the apprehension, I am excited for the challenge. There are things I do not yet know, things I will certainly have to learn, I will fumble my way through. Yet if God is with me, I shall not fear.

And this is just one area. In other areas of my life, I too find myself pushed out of my comfort zone, and I know I will need to rise to the challenge.

All in all, I think this latter half of 2014 has marked a new season in my life, and it has been an introductory course to 2015. Heck, it even ties in with staring school anew. In 2014, I have stepped into many new shoes. I have tried them out, walked a little around with them, testing out how they feel.

2015 is the year I will run with these shoes. It will be crazy, it will be exhilarating.

Through it all, in all my various roles and responsibilities I have taken up and will be taking up, one thing is clear for me. All my successes will come only if I walk in obedience to God, if my heart echoes the beating of His heart.

This again, has been a burning in my soul for this past year. That all things in our Christian life first stems from our relationship with Him, so before any tactics or strategies, before any plans and ideas on how to do things, first and foremost seek Him. Draw close to Him, understand His heart, see as He sees.

Then go. In radical faith. Stepping out of the boat into crashing waves because He said 'Come!'. Casting aside all things which are temporal, instead hearing the echoing of the word 'eternity' in my heart.

2015 will be a year of running in faith. Daring to believe that God will make a way, that God will provide. That God will be my victory.

It is also the year of the jubilee. 2015 I am believing that in the name of Jesus, lives will be set free.

2015 is here, and I can feel it. From all my life up till this point, I know it will be the best year yet.

Unless You are with me, unless You are in the center of everything I do, let nothing prosper.

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