Well I guess let's start small


By just writing a little about things I read.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/relational-warnings-wisdom-tucked-away-pauls-shortest-letter/

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Unforgiveness and hatred is something that has never really been an issue for me. There might be elements of pride (feeling superior to others, dismissive or disdainful to others), anger (being irritated, annoyed, upset with someone for awhile) or impatience (tired of dealing with someone) in my life, but not unforgiveness.

I feel like the pattern is, when I have time to sit down for awhile and think about it, I could never really hold grudges against people. No matter what they could have done, it seems that at most I would just not talk to them anymore and let them fade away from my life. Granted I havn't really faced anything really significant, but it seems to be like this for me.

It probably stems from the logical way I think about relationships. In a spur of a moment I might get upset, but in the long run there is no profit in staying upset with anyone, neither for them nor for myself. Revenge is silly, pointless, a waste of my time and energy. So in that regard, it has been easy to obey this command of God.

I do however know of people who really struggle with this and have been finding it hard to emphatise with them. In my head it's just...just don't lah. But we all have our strengths and weaknesses and what's easy for me may not be for others, just like how there would be things that are tough for me but easy for others.

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Onesimus started poorly, finished well
Mark and Paul had disagreements, and then reconciled
Demas started well, but finished poorly

"Sometimes—no matter what we do—people we love and trust will ultimately choose to walk away to avoid walking in the light"

That's something that I have come to accept in the course of my ministry. People stray, people leave. Though there's always more I could have done, it is simply not possible for me to always be looking out for every single person and making sure they are all okay. It is their walk, it is between them and God.

We could work to establish better accountability, stronger bonds between people, stronger networks so people can depend on one another. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, their faith is still between them and God.

Yet, just because I have come to accept it, it doesn't mean I've come to feel alright about it. It's always painful, and something which is very scary to me honestly.

Keep running this race with perseverance, never losing sight of the goal.

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