Retreat Meditations

Exodus 31:14-15
You shall keep the Sabbath, because it is holy for you. Everyone who profanes it shall be put to death. Whoever does any work on it, that soul shall be cut off from among his people. Six days shall work be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day shall be put to death.

Since Jesus has clarified the meaning of the sabbath and how we are no longer bound to the strict sabbath laws, it's easy to completely ignore it. The principle of the sabbath though, taking time away from distractions to just rest and to seek God remains relevant. This reminds me of how important the principle of the sabbath is to God, and how we should take it seriously. And it's true, I do feel more spiritually refreshed after this retreat and I think it's something that should be a bigger part of my life.

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Psalm 27:4
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. 

Psalm 27:8
You have said, “Seek my face.” My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek.” 

Psalm 84:1-2
How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God. 

Psalm 84:10
For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

Do I have the kind of zeal and desire to be with God? Wanting nothing more to spend my time with him. Or do I regard it as a chore? When God says to me 'seek my face', will I be able to confidently reply 'your face, Lord, do I seek'?

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1 Samuel 15:22
“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams." 


Psalm 51:16-17
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

What's an equivalent of a sacrifice in today's context? Our service to God? Musical worship? Perhaps. Whatever it is, these things surely are good things but without obedience, without a heart that is devoted to God, it all doesn't matter.

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Luke 10:38-42
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

Ah, story of my life. Something I keep coming back to. Do I serve in DI out of a sense of responsibility for my role, feeling that 'someone has to do it'? Or do I serve because I love God and I want to live for Him? In the process of serving, do I just go about trying to get things done, or do I take the time to sit at the feet of Jesus myself and draw close to Him?

I think something new I took notice of this time is how Martha self-righteously declared that Mary was being selfish and unwilling to help. Do I sometimes feel upset at other people for not serving like me, but in the first place am not choosing the better thing?

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Revelations 2:2-5
I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.

You can do a great many things in serving, but remember at the end of the day its not about how much you serve but where you heart is.

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1 Kings 19:14-18
He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” And the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”

The broader context of this verse was Elijah having just done a great work for God, but finding that instead of problems being solved, he gets further persecuted and feels alone and in despair. Elijah flees for many weeks, and finally is just so done with everything, wanting his life to end. God meets him in this moment in a still small voice.

Now I'm far from Elijah in that I never did anything as great nor am I persecuted nor do I feel like God should take my life. But I have felt helpless, jaded, frustrated at how the things I do seem futile. So much so that over time this year I've grown increasingly apathetic towards serving, easily upset at people and so on. But it's not me who is in control of the work here it is God. And I'm far from alone. Just because things have not been panning out the way I would like it to, does not mean that I should allow myself to have a defeated attitude towards serving.

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John 21:20-22
Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?” When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”

On that note, even if no one else cares, what does it matter. If it's God's will, what is that to me? I don't need to keep looking elsewhere and to others. I just need to follow.

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