It's understood that what we know to be the ideal state of the church is not something we realistically experience in our lives. This is because the church is made up of imperfect human beings. Fatally imperfect I would say, each and every single one of us is so far from perfection.
How much responsibility do we bear, when we fail to live up to this ideal, or at least tend towards it? We who are called to lay down our lives for one another, but often are far too absorbed with our own lives.
But then again, we do each have to take responsibility of our own lives. For both groups of people. The ones who don't love as much as they could have because we have limited time, space and energy, is it not fair that these individuals need to look out for themselves? Life might be tougher for some others in relative comparison, but that doesn't make life easy for everyone else. And for the ones who fall 'victim', do they not have their own responsibility to deal with their situations instead of expecting others to help them?
Complicating that, how about the lived experience of God in our lives? Do we expect both groups to be able to do all that, when they struggle to see God moving in their day to day lives? People take matters into their own hands, when they feel that they need to do so. This is amplified when the blessings don't come. Well, we were never promised things to be clean and beautiful in this life, but we do believe that God will take care of us right? What if it doesn't feel that way? When we struggle to see how God could possibly be working in our lives? The textbook answer is clear: trust in Him, hope in Him. But what if what we know in our heads does not move our hearts? What if we doubt what we know in our heads in the first place?
Back to the church. It's not just made of of imperfect people, it is also an imperfect institution. The things we do, are they necessarily what is best for the people? Do we, in our zeal and in our incompetence, end up causing more damage than good sometimes? Of course, I don't think the church ever sets out to do that. If it knew, and if it had an answer, it wouldn't. But life is complicated. Furthermore, the same thing which benefits someone might have the opposite effect on another. So we can't ever appease everyone. No matter what the church does, some of its members will gain some of them will lose. Do we just go for the utilitarian approach then, and do our best to cover what is lacking through our interpersonal relationships? But as we have established, that fails all too often as well.
Does the church also cater to certain demographics more than others? We pride ourselves in serving the downtrodden, but do we really? We can give to the downtrodden and we do, but do the downtrodden feel at home in the church? Or do they find their lived experiences too far from what is proclaimed in the pulpit and through the words of people in the church?
How about culture? The church is not a gathering of saints but a hospital for sinners, but we sure act like the former most of the time. We know what is expected of us, what God expects of us, and if we fail to live up to it, we might feel that we might be seen as a lesser being. Is it the fault of the individual for caring more about the thoughts of man rather than God? Yea sure, the person is always culpable in that regard. But we don't make it easier for them do we? We know God looks at the heart and not at the outward appearance, but we seem to focus all too much on the outward appearance. In the end, people eventually can't hold that image together anymore, and they leave. And they feel refreshed leaving, because they feel like they have never been more honest.
So what can we conclude then. It means that people will walk away. That's obvious and yet disconcerting. Living in a paradox, feeling that we could have done more, but yet how could we have?
When all is said and done, you can't help but agree. You know what it means, but there's nothing you can say otherwise. They made their decision, all you can do is to respect it. And it wasn't like they didn't try. They felt like they gave it their all. Perhaps if you were them, there was a good chance you would have done the same. Perhaps it was privilege that kept you where you are.
Hah. And that's one of three things. It wasn't even the main point, it was just something with more personal relevance to my life, and something I can write about here I guess.
I have to say though. I think by and large, the church tries. It's messy, it's imperfect, people fall through the gaps. That sucks big time, when people fall through the gaps of a system its a big problem any where. But our formal system cannot cover everything, and our informal system is well... informal. So perhaps there isn't really a way to deal with this. None of us are professional Christians. We just do our best.
---
Take courage
Hold on
Be strong
Remember where our help comes from
Heavy heart.
---