“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
- Matthew 7:13-14
When it comes to discussions during cell about living for God, there's a particular statement I've been hearing a fair bit this year that I feel is problematic. It goes something like this:
"Ya true this is important, but aiya haizz you know, it's really hard lah."
The sentence is often uttered after some conclusion is reached on what should be done, as a sort of final word.
There are two parts to this statement. First, the acknowledgement that something is important when it comes to living for God, and the second a remark that this same thing is something that is difficult to do. I don't disagree with the fact of the statement. Living for God is hard. This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who reads the Word of God. Jesus has made that abundantly clear in His ministry.
The problem I have with the statement is what is being implied. See, the person isn’t saying “it’s difficult and so all the more we need the grace of God”. He is simply saying “it’s difficult”, and that’s the final conclusion of the matter. This isn't just making a statement of fact, it is effectively already concluding that it can't or won't be done.
Perhaps the person who make this sort of statement may not even be aware of the fact that he is doing this. He probably simply genuinely feels that living for God is hard. Perhaps the person has already decided that he isn’t going to try. Perhaps he still will try, but the results would be unsurprising.
If we find ourselves making this statement, may I suggest we take a pause and examine a little deeper why we feel this way. Many things in life are hard. Work is hard. Practice is hard. Training is hard. Anything that requires some sort of discipline is hard. Yet for each of us, I’m sure there are some of these hard things that we will do anyway. We don’t let the difficulty of these things hold us back. What’s the difference in this case then?
I would say that among all the things in life that are hard, there are things that we actually just really don't mind doing. There are two main reasons that I can think of as to why we don't mind doing certain hard things. The first is that we are genuinely convicted that the thing is important. The second reason is that we find them enjoyable even though it's not easy. The two are interrelated
Conviction
In Edmund Chan's Roots and Wings, he introduces this framework for disciples. One key concept is that when we face challenges in a particular category, we should take steps back to identify what really is the root issue that we face.
In the youth ministry I serve in, I have noticed that we sometimes focus a lot on ‘priorities’. When we see that someone isn’t fully living out the life that God has called them to live, we ask them to prioritise better. Not reading the Word of God? Prioritise better. Not waking up to be in Church? Prioritise better. Bending to peer pressure to do things that do not glorify God? Hey your priority is to please God not man.
It seems as if priorities is the main issue when it comes to challenges in Christian living, but is that really the case? I think priorities is something which much attention is paid to simply because it is obvious. When someone isn't making living for God a priority, it's easy to spot. The thing is, a lack of prioritisation is often merely a symptom. The true issue lies somewhere further upstream.
If someone isn’t making reading the Word of God a priority, what is the reason? When asked, the person might respond that he is very busy. In which case we then think they should prioritise better. Perhaps we should instead dig a little deeper. In the first place, is the person even convinced of the importance of reading the Word of God?
If the answer is yes, then I agree it could possibly really just be an issue of priorities and he should plan better. I personally fall into this trap sometimes, where I get lazy and don’t prioritise reading the Word of God despite seeing it’s importance. For another person though, it could be a case where deep down he isn’t convinced of why it should be a priority to begin with.
We might know the model answer as to why something is important, but it is not enough. We must internalise this for ourselves. We must be genuinely convicted of the importance of the things that we say are important. When this importance goes beyond an intellectual assent in our heads to something which resonates with our hearts, that is when we have the desire to live it out.
That I believe is the real crux of the issue. It is not about whether living for God is hard. It is not about making certain decisions a priority. It is foremost about whether we are convicted. That is something much more fundamental.
Going to the Root Issue
We take steps back and identify what exactly is the root issue. Values is most certainly an issue since not being convicted of the importance of something is precisely an issue of values.
Values however may not be the root issue either though. It might well be an issue of purpose. Do we understand what is the life God calls us to live? If we are not convinced of our call to be the salt and the light in the first place, if we are not convinced of our call to steer clear of sin, then it’s no surprise if we bend to peer pressure and do things that do not glorify God.
We can take more one more step backward, to look at our identity. Do we even internalise who we are in relation to God? Do we understand what it means to be called His children, His people who are set apart?
We can go further still of course, all the way to allegiance (do we genuinely believe that God is our Lord) and theology (do we even believe that God is God). The point is, we should understand what really is the root issue.
Once we have identified the root issue, then we can start working from there. If we have a strong sense of who we are in Christ but find that this identity does not translate directly to a purpose driven life, then work from there. It would be easier from here as if we are already convinced of our identity, then we would see the importance of translating that into how we navigate life.
By jumping straight into prioritisation, we set ourselves up for failure because we aren’t even convinced of the importance of what we are trying to prioritise in the first place. We find it so difficult, perhaps because we don’t even buy into it ourselves. So we need to buy into it, and that involves identifying the root issue and growing from there.
Personally, I used to struggle with loving the people around me. Not that it’s something that I’m completely over, but I would say it comes much more naturally to me nowadays. Looking back, I realise that I wasn’t entirely convinced as to why this was so important. I had a values issue. See, I know all the verses, and I even liked them very much. 1 John 3:16 was my favourite verse at some point in time. I was convinced that I was the beloved of God (identity), and in turn I was called to love people (purpose).
I just didn’t value it enough. I valued intellectual knowledge of God more. I valued serving God in other ways more. My personality was such that loving people wasn’t something natural to me, and so I just didn’t think too much about that. If I were to love people, I would do it my way, my style. This means I could be friendly, I could buy things for people, I could celebrate them. But when it came to working together, I would compartmentalise and just focus on delivering the work, becoming more of a slave driver. This means along the way I upset many people with my demands, my scoldings, my lack of empathy.
It was only in 2015 that it became very apparent to me that this was a huge contradiction. I cannot claim to love people if I instead within the Church I am creating misery, hurt and driving people away. It was only then that I realised that I have a misalignment in purpose and values (though I didn’t think of it in this framework then), and was convicted that this had to change. From there that I gradually learnt, grew, and became who I am today. Still a long way to go, but most certainly better than who I once was.
Conviction is what allows us to do hard things in life. Without conviction, the entire endeavour naturally feels unsurmountable. We make excuses for ourselves, knowing that we don’t want to do it, or perhaps knowing that even if we try to do it all it leads to is failure.
The Joy of Living for God
I mentioned that there are two main reasons that we don't mind doing certain hard things, and the first was being convinced that the thing is important. As mentioned, the second related reason is that we find them enjoyable even though it's not easy.
It’s related because conviction brings joy. If we force ourselves to do something we don’t like, the whole thing becomes a huge, joy sapping endeavour. Focusing on 'priorities' may just create greater misery as it feels like we are made to do something we don’t even believe in.
However, if we genuinely believe in the importance of something, then when we work hard at it, we gain a sense of fulfilment. We see that despite the difficulty, it is truly meaningful. From there, we experience joy.
Put it another way, if we don’t buy into something, all we will see is the difficulty and the pain and thus be deterred. We may fail to see that accompanying joy that comes from it. Even if we do, we may not think it is worth it, that the perceived pain is not worth the gain.
When we examine the stories of great men in Bible, we see a common trend – joy in the midst of suffering. We live in such comfort today that when we talk about laying our lives down, it often merely involves laying down our benefits, giving up certain behaviours and so on. In contrast, the men in the Bible truly laid down their lives, even to the point of death. The cost they paid were so much greater, it would have been so much harder for them. Yet they did it anyway because it was worth it, because it was important to them, and it filled them with such great joy. A joy that comes from knowing God, from living a purpose driven life for God.
Jesus was of course the ultimate example of this. In Hebrews 12:2, we see that it was ‘for the joy set before Him’, that Jesus went to Calvary. Going to the cross is as difficult as things can get. Yet that joy motivates Him, enables Him to do the hard thing.
What keeps me going personally when I serve in youth ministry? It can be a tiring endeavour, with all the things that need to be done. It’s not just a bunch of fun things, it’s a lot of work. Work that otherwise people would have to pay me to motivate me to do this, but yet I serve in youth ministry voluntarily. I would say that joy is a key component in this. To be able to participate in God’s work, to feel fulfilled as I live out the life He calls me to live. Despite the difficulty, I experience the joy of doing God’s work, and that keeps me going.
So what happens if we don’t experience joy when we do the things we say are important? Well, we can’t create joy out of nothing, it can’t be forced. That being said, perhaps the lack of joy itself may help us to understand how we really feel about these things. If doing the things which are important just feels like a joy sapping chore to us, then we could ask ourselves why we feel that way. I wouldn’t say it’s the only reason, but it could be possible that one of the reasons is that what our minds say it is important does not resonate in our hearts. Then we can look to identify what is the root issue.
The Right Perspective
It is important, but it is difficult. The next time we hear a phrase like that, or we think this to ourselves in our head, perhaps we should take the time and ask ourselves some questions.
Don’t just say it’s hard, go deeper. Why do we say it’s hard, is it because we aren’t convicted of its importance? We should ask ourselves a series of questions till we get to the root issue. Once we have identified the root issue, then can we work from there. It is from the roots that we can grow, for these are our fundamentals, and where our own buy in is the strongest. Let these initial fundamentals shape our convictions as we move upstream. From identity to purpose, to values and to priorities. Then with our hearts and minds aligned, we will have the motivation to get the important things done, and it fills us with joy that keeps us going.
It is difficult, but it is worth it. By the grace of God, we will do it. Cheers.