Yes its very discouraging indeed. To feel incompetent, to feel like you're unable to do the very thing which means everything to you. To always be trying but failing, to always be a disappointment to others and to yourself.

I am thankful that God does not expect perfection from me and that God uses imperfect people to advance His kingdom's work. Still, it isn't a valid excuse to remain in the status quo.

Yet, how do you address something that is so fundamentally you?

How do you address something that more often than not feels like its completely beyond you?

Perhaps it will come with time.

Theres no sense in saying everything that I already said before recently. So I might as well link you there directly because its the same thing all over again anyway.

Im fighting. Im not giving up. Im still trying but its an uphill battle. Perhaps though each little experience I learn a little more. Still tending towards that goal, still trying. There is nothing more important, and there will never be.